The Horror 100: 3 and 2

Only one left




















#3 The Exorcist
(1973, directed by William Friedkin, starring Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Jason Miller, Max von Sydow, and Lee J. Cobb)

If "When a Stranger Calls" had the scariest opening fifteen minutes in the history of cinema…this film has the scariest 132 minutes in the history of cinema. The tension and scares begin the second the title is flashed on the screen in big red block lettering with the Iraqi soundtrack to the moment the title is flashed on the screen in big white block lettering at the end of the film.

The story, for those of you who have never seen it (if this applies to you….shame on you for having such a blatant disregard for quality cinema), revolves around the possession of a twelve year old girl, Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair). Regan, the daughter of famous movie star, Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn), starts to exhibit unusual behavior and is summarily brought to every doctor and psychiatrist in the country…but to no avail. It starts to become apparent to Chris that there is more going on here than lesions in the brain or mental illness. This is when the movie really starts to kick ass.

I saw the re-release of this flick at one of those fancy stadium type cinemas, chock full of annoying eighth graders, which I can’t understand, as I was carded to get into this film and so was my wife. We are both circa 30. The theater did eventually sweep out quite a few of the miscreants except, for some reason, the exceptionally annoying ones right behind us. The fact that they were there, however, ended up making my theater going experience even more fulfilling. How, you ask? These children, taught to ruin others’ enjoyment by Mystery Science Theatre (the downfall of the American Cinema Going Civilization) and expecting another waste of celluloid Scream rip-off, were unprepared for what they were in for. You see, they thought that all horror films were as tame and predictable as the “I Know What You Did Last Summer” series…they were wrong. They started off by making fun of the film until it grabbed them by the throats and shook the living shit out of them, then the laughter suddenly turned to screams, and finally those kids were too scared to make a sound. It was at this point that I think the kids realized that they were not prepared for what they got. What this says to me? This movie has still got it after over twenty-five years. The kids didn’t make a peep for the last 45 minutes of the film, except an occasional scream, and as I was leaving, I looked back to see four or five teenagers with faces as pale as “Captain Howdy” from the film.

The almost ten extra minutes of footage worked so well, in my opinion, that it is hard to see how it was ever left out in the first place. I was expecting some of the new scenes, having seen some of the footage before, and I was still shocked as hell at the way it was re-cut into the movie. The soundtrack has also been digitally re-mastered….which means high velocity pea soup projectile vomiting in surround sound. Now we’re talking.

The film features tremendous performances by such stars as Max Von Sydow (“The Virgin Spring”, “What Dreams May Come”), Jason Miller (“Rudy”, “Exorcist III”), and Lee J. Cobb (“12 Angry Men”, “The Three Faces of Eve”), as well as Oscar nominated performances by Blair and Burstyn. It is directed with a great eye by William Friedkin (“The French Connection”), and is based on the novel by William Peter Blatty, who also adapted the screenplay. It is visually stunning and the makeup effects are unbelievably well done by makeup maestro, Dick Smith.

Films like the Exorcist are what make cinema such a great thing. A movie should grab you by the short and curlies and not let go until the last credit roles. A film should take you to the brink, threaten to drop you, and finally release you. Whether it is a tearjerker or a knee-slapper, a film that does not elicit your deepest emotions is a waste of time. A comedy is meant to make you laugh until you nearly wet your pants, a drama is supposed to nearly evoke tears, and a horror film is made to disturb you and leave you uncomfortable (at least one’s that don’t star somebody from Party of Five). The Exorcist is one of those films. So if you’re looking for another hip, light-hearted horror film full of predictable “cat jumping out of the closet” scares and starring pretty, yet talent deficient rejects from the WB network….don’t see this flick, go to the video store and rent the latest candy-ass Neve Campbell movie. For those of you who still enjoy a good scare-fest, full of macabre imagery and intelligence….then The Exorcist is for you.

So for all of you who have seen this movie umpteen times…all of you who have seen it one time….and especially all of the tragically misguided who have never seen this film in any version…RUN, DON’T WALK to the nearest video store and see this film NOW.

#2 Suspiria
(1977, directed by Dario Argento, starring Jessica Harper, Joan Bennett, and Udo Kier)

The tagline states that the only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of this film are the first 92…well I'd like to state that this is another one of those films with a masterful opening 15 minutes. If "When a Stranger Calls" has the scariest opening 15 minutes…this is #2.

The film opens with a creepy narrator we never hear from again, an absolutely earth shatteringly driving score by Goblin , and a woman arriving at the airport and hailing a cab in a driving rainstorm. She is unable to gain entrance into her destination and later sees a woman running through something that resembles the black forest of Germany. This woman arrives at a breathtakingly baroque apartment complex with deep reds and unnerving symmetry. This is just the open.

The story revolves around Suzy Banyan, an American ballet dancer who has come to Germany to study at a famous ballet school….a famous ballet school with a creepy secret. All the while there is a madman on the loose murdering people. This film is beautifully photographed in three strip Technicolor (one of the last films to utilize this approach) with vivid color and breathtaking imagery. The colors in this film are other-worldly and add to the horror fairy tale that Argento creates. I can't stress this enough…this is quite probably the most beautiful horror film ever shot and, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful films of any genre ever shot.

As I've mentioned before, Argento is not usually very pre-occupied by story and acting. He is a visual director who prefers to tell his story through atmosphere, angles, soundtrack, and imagery. Well, this is clearly Argento's masterpiece…his visual flair is better than ever, but also, the story makes sense even if it is meant to be dreamlike, and his actors are at their best, but as per usual, that is not what makes this film a masterpiece.

If you've never seen a Dario Argento film…you can't go wrong with this being your first. Turn the sound up, turn the lights down and enjoy Italy's finest director's finest film.

The Horror 100: 5 and 4

2 classics of 70's horror cinema, 70's cinema in general, horror cinema overall, and just plain cinema period...




















#5 George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead
(1978, directed by George A. Romero, starring Ken Foree, David Emge, Scott Reiniger, and Gaylen Ross)

Romero is a genius, and his dead trilogy (or quadrilogy now) is probably the overall crowning achievement in horror…and this is the best of the 4 films…this is an epic masterpiece. This is the sequel to Night of the Living Dead and Romero's 70's entry into the series. It is an assault on the consumerism of our society and an assault on our senses.

The film starts as there is still a small kernel of normalcy in our society….we are still fighting back and trying to understand and overcome the zombie invasion. When the four compatriots "run" it seems so does society and all go underground to try and survive. The group hold up in a "large indoor shopping mall." This offers them what appears to be everything they need and they are able to play house and pretend that all is okay as they have all sorts of "stuff." They clean the place of zombies who just keep coming as they remember that the mall "used to be someplace important to them."

All goes well until the place is raided by a roving gang of bikers who want to pillage the place for themselves. This obviously ends the original four's utopian mirage and they are forced to decide what to do…stay and die…or leave and continue to survive.

I can't find one thing I dislike about this movie (save the fact the blood is a little too red). The acting is perfect. The gore is relentless. The story is compelling and this film actually has something to say. The film is more a character study that focuses on the interaction of our main characters than it is a zombie film…I mean the zombies are sort of background to the story…they are a means for Romero to tell an allegory. Don't get me wrong there is enough violence in this 2 and a half hour film to numb you to it, as was intended by the filmmakers, but it is secondary to the story and the social commentary.

This is the epitome of horror films I like…films with a voice and societal opinions…films with great characters and great inter-character interaction…films with great atmosphere and story…films with great acting, directing, and cinematography…films with great effects….and films that would stand up if you took away all of the horror elements. This has it all.

#4 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(1974, directed by Tobe Hooper, starring Marilyn Burns, Jim Siedow, Gunnar Hansen, and Edwin Neal)

This is the modern classic about a group of college students that go on an ill-fated daytrip. They unfortunately meet up with a grisly family of cannibals, who have seemingly found an unlimited amount of uses for human skin and body parts. This is a quite stylistic film that has a certain unrelenting edge to it that makes this a masterpiece.

It is another one of those 1970's horror films that was born of societal pressures and was as much a reaction to the decade as it was a product of it. Just the fact that there was no gas for the stranded kids to get is a product of the gas shortage of the time. This was another of those films documenting the "real." The villains in this film aren't supernatural or inhuman forces, they are real guys with too much time on their hands. They are unemployed hillbillies that spend too much time with each other and too little time learning of the entirety of the world. These are guys I believe live in this world, or at least could.

The film, like many of the era, was shot on super 16mm both for monetary and budgetary constraints as well as for aesthetic choice. It really gives the film a realistic, documentary feel and makes the film even grittier than it already is. The acting is very realistic. I believe the interactions not only in extraordinary situations, but in the mundane situations…that rarely happens. The only part of this film that doesn't hold up is the dress.

There is hardly a drop of blood in the film, despite all of the things you've heard of this film…the gore didn't come to the sequel….the beauty of this film is that you just assume you are being inundated with carnage as it just feels gross.

The Horror 100: 7 and 6

We are getting very close...




















#7 The Last House on the Left
(1972, directed by Wes Craven, starring David Hess, Lucy Grantham, Sandra Cassel, Marc Sheffler, and Fred Lincoln)

This is Wes Craven's first, and arguably his best, film. The film is shot on 16mm and has a feel, as many films of that time period, of a documentary. It is as much a sign of its times as it is a horror film. It came about after 2 hippies (Craven and producer Sean S. Cunningham) went and saw a "man with no name" western and counted something like 300 dead bodies…but they were "movie dead." That is, it was almost cartoon like, the violence. At this time, the images on the evening news each night were that of violence in Vietnam, and these 2 hippies decided to bring the violence home in cinema form.

They were going to push the envelope as much as they could and put the violence right in the audience's face…well they did that for the time, and for today. The film centers around 2 girlfriends going to the big city for a concert. They try and score some grass and are kidnapped, raped, and tortured, and finally killed by a crew of escaped convicts. The killers then take refuge at one of the murdered children's house, and when the parents find out…well, I'm sure you get the idea.

The violence is certainly in your face, but even the killers have a conscience and show remorse, giving them a humanity that makes the film all the more realistic and frightening. These aren't mindless killing machine monsters…no, they are your mechanic, your neighbor, your friend.

The questions raised in this film regarding what can push an average person to violence, and what you would do in the parents place, are as relevant today as they were in 1972. The goofy folk music soundtrack (performed by Hess) is haunting in its dichotomy with the realism of the violence. It is also kick ass.

The acting, though goofy in parts, is all too realistic in the scenes it needs to be. I truly believe that Krug and company are enjoying the torment, and I truly feel Mari and Phyllis' pain, humiliation, and desperation. This film is not for everyone and you will certainly want to take a shower after watching it, but it is violence as it truly is, and the unflinching eye in which it is represented is as powerful as any film I've ever seen.

#6 Hellraiser
(1987, directed by Clive Barker, starring Ashley Laurence, Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Sean Chapman, and Doug Bradley)

This film is essentially a haunted house story with a twist. It revolves around a man who has come back from hell, but needs blood to survive. This man, Frank, is being tracked by the demons, which he invited into his life and subsequently took him to hell. He is living in the attic of his brother's house and the attic of the house of his brother's wife…also his ex-lover. She is more than happy to help him return by bringing him blood.

This is Clive Barker's first film and it a masterpiece. It is stylistic and intelligent, and it introduced the film going community to arguably the most charismatic monsters of all time, the cenobites. The cenobites are an elegant group of S&M candidates that come to you through your desire and curiosity…that is it. They are summoned from a puzzle box that must be solved for them to come. The cenobites are lead by "lead cenobite" who is more commonly known as Pinhead, a very intelligent being who communicates with a dashing charm, and sinister edge.

This film is very intimate and claustrophobic as the monsters are living in the attic of a small house with a narrow staircase leading to Uncle Frank and the portal to the cenobites. The acting is second to none, and I think I just may give actors with British accents more slack, as they sound more professional…though distributor Canon films dubbed some of the British accents as they thought American audiences would tune out…weird. Anyway, all of the actors, British and American, put in stellar performances and Barker's direction is flawless.

You've probably seen this film, but check it out again…it's that good.

The Horror 100: 9 and 8

Now, isn't this getting exciting...alright don't answer that...I may be a bit of a loser, but who cares. Here is a film a lot of you have probably never seen, and another film you may not consider a "horror" film...but it's my list so F you.




















#9 When a Stranger Calls
(1979, directed by Fred Walton, starring Carol Kane, Charles Durning, and Tony Beckley)

The first fifteen minutes of this film may be the scariest 15 minutes in the history of cinema. One of the only few things to rival it are the final five. The film is based on an old babysitter fable that I don't want to reveal as it will potentially ruin the film…but the film opens with Carol Kane arriving to baby-sit for the Mandrakis family who are heading out for the evening.

Carol Kane was 27 at the time, but she looked as young (if not younger) than the high school girl she was playing. Her wide eyes emoted the innocence as much as her subtle performance. Kane played babysitter, Jill Johnson, who immediately begins to receive harassing and menacing phone calls from a man who doesn't just do the typical heavy breathing…he continuously asks her "have you checked the children?" The scene is shot brilliantly and paced perfectly. The editing and camera angles create an absolutely gut wrenching suspense that you can feel in your tense nerves. The eerie music and sound design add to the tension. It is one of the very few perfect scenes you will ever see.

The middle of this film gets a little slow, but I like it and enjoy the character development and getting to know our villain. There are also a few good scares mixed in…then we get to the end of the film and another scene that will have you jumping out of your skin. If you haven't seen this film, nor have you heard about it…do yourself a favor. Go to the video store, rent it, go home, turn out all the lights, make some popcorn, and set a perfect scary movie mood, then watch this film alone…it is scary as hell!

#8 Requiem for a Dream

(2000, directed by Darren Aronofsky, starring Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, and Marlon Wayans)

“Requiem for a Dream,” the sophomore effort by “Pi” director, Darren Aronofsky, is a darkly hypnotic vision of addiction and delusion. It features outstanding and daring performances by an ensemble cast and some of the best cinematography I’ve ever seen. This is a brilliant adaptation of Hubert Selby’s dark 1968 novel by the same name, and it is the highest ranked "not quite a horror movie" to make the list. Don't be fooled however….this is a horror movie…it is some of the most disturbing cinema moments I've ever been privy to. Try to not get a physical reaction to the final 30 minutes of this film.

The story deals with the intertwining lives of four addicts reaching for their version of the “american dream.” A widowed mother, Sara Goldfarb, played brilliantly by Ellen Burstyn (“The Exorcist,” “The Last Picture Show”), who is hopelessly addicted to television also becomes addicted to diet pills when she is told she will appear on her favorite television program. Struggling to fit into her favorite red dress, she takes a friend’s advice and decides to visit a croaker doctor, who hands out diet pills like popcorn. Meanwhile, Sara’s son, Harry, played by Jared Leto (“American Psycho,” “Fight Club”), is struggling to make the one “big score” while dealing with his heroin addiction. Harry and his girlfriend, Marion, played by Jennifer Connelly (“Dark City,” “Labyrinth”), are reaching for the historically unattainable junkie dream. Aided by the assistance of their junkie cohort, Tyrone, played excellently by Marlon Wayans (“Scary Movie,” “Senseless”), the couple strives to make the “big score” that will set the three of them up with dope for life and cash to start a small business.

Needless to say, nothing comes easily for the four drug addled compatriots, and the real story becomes the sacrifices made and the proverbial lines crossed to stay afloat in a narcotic fueled environment. The dreams, nightmares, and regrets of the four become an integral part of the story line as their goals become simultaneously closer and farther away.

The true power of this film, however, is its style, photography, and performances. Matthew Libatique (“Pi”) returns as Aronofsky’s director of photography, and this time, he left behind the highly contrasting look of black and white reversal film and explored the beauty and despair of color film. This is where the film strikes perfection. The lighting and composition are absolutely flawless, with Libatique and Aronofsky capturing a gritty, dark vision with deep greens and stunning blues. The four stars of the film put in exemplary performances, but I was most impressed by Marlon Wayans, who took a big risk, departing from comedy and taking on a highly dramatic role. This is, by leaps and bounds, his best performance to date, and I hope he continues to cut his dramatic teeth on roles such as this because I think he can excel as a dramatic actor. Unfortunately, his next (ahem) film was Scary Movie 2.

Another notable about this film is that the producers took a commendable stand by releasing this film unrated, instead of subjecting the film to censorship via public enemy #1, the MPAA. Instead of releasing it with the (unfortunately) kiss of death stamp, NC-17, or cutting scenes to appease the MPAA and get an R rating, they forwent the whole system and released it unrated. So even if you hated “Pi”, get out there and support a film which took a stand against censorship and show the suits out there that controversial, adult-natured films can be profitable too.

My recommendation for this film…get out there and employ your opportunity to see a truly innovative, visually stunning piece of cinema. Rarely will you get a chance to see the combination of striking cinematography, outstanding acting, and daringly poignant subject matter. Aronofsky has officially taken the idea of the “sophomore slump” and shoved it back in the viewer’s faces. See this film and see the reason the Academy Awards are officially a sham....watch this and try and convince yourself that Julia Roberts in "Erin Brokovich" put in a better performance than Ellen Burstyn in this film…this may be the finest acting performance ever put in by an actress.

The Horror 100: 11 and 10

Well here are the next 2...and 2 distinctly different films...one realistic enough to make you cringe and one from a supernatural world of evil...




















#11 Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
(1986, directed by John McNaughton, starring Michael Rooker, Tom Towles, and Tracy Arnold)

This is one of the most gritty, realistic pictures you are likely to ever see. It is loosely based on the true life exploits of Henry Lee Lucas and his cohort Otis Toole. Now, I say loosely, because after being caught those two laid claim to some 300 murders, changed their stories endlessly, and genuinely enjoyed toying with the police. Otis actually admitted to Adam Walsh murder after seeing the made for tv movie, Adam. Though most of the murders they claimed to commit were impossible for them to do so, due to the distances, they did kill many people, and were truly sick human beings.

This film captures the insanity, and the mundane brutality of these 2 sickos. I believe this film is most probably the truest depiction of a serial killer….that is…nothing special. Henry is just a guy most of the time…a guy with a soft spot in his heart, but also a guy who is constantly thinking of raping and murdering innocent people, simply because he wants to.

This is Michael Rooker's finest hour as an actor, period. He has done much bigger films, and some would argue much better films as well (I'm not one of those people), but his ability to give this monster a humanity and an overwhelming sense of the mundane "ordinary Joe" was extraordinary. The acting all around was perfect. Otis was played by genre vet, Tom Towles, and he made me want to crawl out of my skin he was so creepy and sleazy.

It really is the ordinary lives of the killers that gives this film its power. When you see Henry at home eating dinner and sticking up for Otis' sister, it makes it that much more powerful when you see him break into a couple's home, rape the wife, force the husband to watch, kill them all (including the children), and videotape the whole thing. The film is gritty and shot on 16mm, the acting top notch, the pacing perfect, and the whole thing is haunting.

This film may not be for everyone…though it is not overly gory, there are a few scenes that are extremely difficult to watch, if not from the graphic nature, from how they are shot and how believable they are. The realism in this film will make you cringe, and lock your doors. To quote Tobe Hooper, "people scare me."…this isn't Freddy, it isn't Jason, this is just some guy who you've probably stood in line behind at the convenience store.

#10 The Evil Dead
(1981, directed by Sam Raimi, starring Bruce Campbell and Ellen Sandweiss)

The Evil Dead is a classic of horror cinema and despite the pop culture love of this film and the hipster dufus worship of Bruce Campbell (myself included), I feel that a lot of people have missed this one. Everyone thinks they've seen this one because they've seen Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, but they haven't. Though this film has some of that tongue in cheek humor and absurd comic book gore, it is also pretty f'ing scary.

Evil Dead 2 was hilarious and cool and fun…but not real scary. The Evil Dead is. It is a story of 5 friends who go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway…and damned if they don't accidentally recite the incantations that bring the evil "deadites" back to the land of the living. Well that is not something you want to do, as these deadites are hellbent on destroying humans and turning them into one of them…and these deadites are rather successful at what they do.

Bruce Campbell is, of course, genius as the much less cock-sure Ash, and Sam Raimi is showing the flashes of what would later give him the keys to the spider man money printing machine. He has a definite visual flair that finds its way through the miniscule budget and onto the screen. Do yourself a favor and if you've only ever seen Evil Dead 2 or Army of Darkness…give this one a try instead….it's worth it.

The Horror 100: 13 and 12

Sorry for the extreme delay in the horror 100. I've had a very busy week and the entries will be coming fast and furious all night until we get to #1...also, expect some zombie dodgeball....with no further delay...




















#13 The Serpent and the Rainbow
(1988, directed by Wes Craven, starring Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Zakes Mokae, and Paul Winfield)

This movie has it all…scares, great effects, great acting, great directing, great writing, but mostly…it's just a great story. It revolves around an anthropologist who searches Cuba for a famed "zombie" drug where the user is perceived dead, is buried, then is unearthed and is still alive. The anthropologist wants the drug as a potential breakthrough in anesthesiology, but the road he has to travel to find it, is a dangerous one.

We are taken into a world of Hatian voodoo, witchdoctors, zombies, curses, and magic. Craven truly spins a fantastic yarn and this may be the crowning achievement of his directing career…it may not be his best film, but it is certainly his best job as a director. Bill Pullman does the finest acting of his career (in my opinion) as our protagonist, Dr. Alan…and when he speaks the memorable lines "don't let them bury me…I'm not dead," it's still chilling to this day.

The film is loosely based on Wade Davis' non fiction account of his anthropological travels to Haiti. Davis' was a professor at Harvard whose account was as riveting as the film. This film is a great example of ambitious horror cinema that seeks to say more than just "boo."

#12 Legion: The Exorcist III
(1990, directed by William Peter Blatty, starring George C. Scott, Brad Dourif, Ed Flanders, and Jason Miller)

If this is a film that William Peter Blatty was not satisfied with and claims the studio ruined it…boy, would I love to see what was originally envisioned and potentially shot, because this is a masterpiece. This film is much maligned and considered faulted…I whole-heartedly disagree. I consider this almost as good as the original, and that's saying an awful lot.

Blatty is the writer of the original Exorcist as well as the writer and director of this film, and he did what the Exorcist II couldn't…he made a truly terrifying sequel and a great continuation of the mythology created in the original. This film stars George C. Scott as our old friend Detective Kinderman from the original film.

Kinderman is slap dab in the middle of a serial killer with an apparent vendetta against the church. The killer shares the M.O. of another murderer set to death 15 years earlier, the Gemini Killer. The situation gets even stranger when Kinderman discovers a man who is identical to Father Damien Karras, the priest from the original, locked in the psych ward's padded cells.

Karras claims to be the Gemini Killer, who has simply possessed Karras as a slap in the face to the church. If it sounds confusing and intriguing…it is. But it is also, damn scary, atmospheric, smart, and tack on more adjectives…it's that good. The writing in this film is so very clever and the dialogue is more realistic than most I've ever seen, adding to the sense that this unrealistic situation could actually be happening. Scott is genius as Kinderman and it makes me sad that Blatty has not directed another film as his direction of the "simple" scenes of just character interaction, borrowing heavily from Robert Altman's overlapping dialogue, is as good as his ability to set scares. I count 3 of the creepiest scenes I've ever watched and 1 where I still jump to this day and I know exactly when it's going to happen.

I consider this one of the scariest horror films of all time, but it truly has it all…please give it another chance if you thought it was just another sequel looking to profit from the name of its predecessor.

The Horror 100: 15 and 14

2 great and completely different films today





















#15 The Beyond
(1981, directed by Lucio Fulci, starring Catriona MacColl and David Warbeck)

Lucio Fulci is a bona fide horror master…and this is his bona fide masterpiece. Italian horror is very different from American horror, and lots of people, even horror fans, don't much enjoy it. That said…this is pretty much a consensus Italian horror classic. Fulci is mainly known for his pension for gore…well…he doesn't disappoint.

The story is that a New Orleans hotel is built on one of the 7 doors of hell…that has to suck…and the new owner is just finding out why she can't get the place up and running smoothly…where her plumber is…why there is a tortured 19th century zombie in her wall…you know the usual entrepreneurial pitfalls.

That is pretty much it…and that's thick on story for a typical Fulci flick, but as we all know by now…that's not why we watch a Fulci flick. And for the record, the acting, and, for the most part, the dubbing is very good in this film. But the gore, the overall sense of dread, the atmosphere, and the apocalyptic feel of the film are all top notch. This film also has the best tarantula scene you will likely see (or see through your hands judging by how squeamish you are).

#14 28 Days Later
(2002, directed by Danny Boyle, starring Cilian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Megan Burns, and Christopher Eccleston)

28 Days later is one of a handful of films made in the last few years that has renewed my faith in the continued success of my beloved genre. Not the survival or the financial perseverance, but the ability for my genre to still have filmmakers with a voice…with something to say…and with the ability to say it. This is one of those films, and again…it may have been a lot higher on the list had I had more years to ruminate on it.

The film owes a lot of its story to Dawn of the Dead, including one grocery store scene that was more plagiarism than homage, but it brings a lot new to the table as well. This film actually doesn't have any "zombies"…the mindless horde in this film are the "infected" which are humans who have been infected by something called rage…which makes the infected hysterically violent and one tracked within seconds of contamination…and the rub in this one is that you can't only get it from being bitten but by any fluid exchange into your bloodstream.

As the one sheet states…its Day 1: Exposure, Day 3 Infection, Day 8 Epidemic, Day 15 Evacuation, and Day 20 Devestation. We arrive at day 3 and return 28 days later after total devastation where there are just a few pockets of survivors remaining in London. The eventually find each other and the typical questions raised in apocalyptic films are raised…such as what makes us human?...and who are the real animals? I really enjoy apocalyptic films as they really make you think about what you would do in similar situations and what are the values that you would attempt to hold on to, thus asking what makes you you?

The acting in this film deserved academy award nominations as far as I'm concerned, but obviously that didn't happen and I even loved the cinematography. The film was shot on digital video which I typically hate as I am a bit of a film snob, but this is one of the films that has started to help change my mind…it is truly breathtaking. The shutter speed effect they use on the infected is perfect. There are so many other great technical aspects in this film, like the look and movement of the infected which they obviously spent a lot of time with as well as their sound.

The score is also perfect…the opening segment with Godspeed you Black Emperor's "East Hastings" is the perfect marriage of cinema and music…they work so well together and I was shocked to learn that it was a pre-recorded piece of music that was not made for the film. They really drive each other and the confusion is enforced, followed by the sorrow and the fear.

This truly is one of those perfect films that only come around every so often…I've yet to meet someone, who isn't my parent, that doesn't really enjoy this film. It is very much a modern masterpiece.

The Horror 100: 17 and 16

It's time for some more cabinets and Carpenters




















#17 The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
(1920, directed by Robert Wiene, starring Werner Krauss, Conrad Veidt, and Lil Dagover)

Okay...now this is a fantastic film, that I bet a lot of you haven't seen...or maybe you have. If you are a film nerd like myself and actually enjoy the Silent German Expressionistic Horror genre (okay genre maybe a bit much, but there are at least 3 films)...you love this one.

The film was originally written by Hans Janowitz and Carl Mayer in 1919 as an anti-war, anti-establishment film...and it was originally shot that way too by director, Robert Wiene, but when the distributors caught wind of the anti-German sentiment, they hired another well known director, Fritz Lang, to write and direct the bookends that you now see on the finished film.

The film is about a mad scientist essentially who takes his traveling circus sideshow from town to town...his booth is a somnambulist (or a person who can be hypnotized and sleepwalk to you and me) named Cesare. Cesare is set upon to do other more dastardly things by his master, Dr. Caligari however and eventually we learn that Caligari works at an asylum treating mental patients.

This was the writers view of government being actually mad themselves, and at the end of the original film, Caligari is locked up for being mad...but in the bookends, it was all a madman's delusion...and after hearing the story, Caligari now knows how to "cure him." The message is not seeped out by this ploy, but in my opinion it is accentuated.

This film is absolutely gorgeous as well (boy did that sound gay). The sets are all works of art fit for a museum, but it is message that comes through strongest in this film...and was clearly ahead of its time in Germany....

Sure its a silent film and its different from your normal viewing, but it's only about an hour and there is so much there to bite into...give your mind an work out and watch this film




















#16 John Carpenter's The Fog
(1980, directed by John Carpenter, starring Tom Atkins, Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, Hal Holbrooke, Charles Cyphers, and Janet Leigh)

Ah...more Carpenter. The man truly is a master and I consider him not only a maven of horror cinema, but a true maverick of independent cinema and one of the best directors there ever was. This little forgotten gem is another piece of celluloid proof.

Carpenter's use of the camera in this film gives it an epic atmosphere that is rarely seen. The opening scene with John Houseman is flat out perfect and the transition from that scene to the shot overlooking "Antonio Bay" is gorgeous and one of the eeriest opening credits I've ever seen...and it's so simple.

The film is about a horde of ghost pirates who have returned (from midnight to 1am...the withcing hour) to seek revenge for the conspirators who set out to murder them. The ghosts ride in to town on a fog bank...and they are pissed and viscious...but they are really secondary to the rest of the film...and I believe the fog is actually secondary as well. Carpenter's atmosphere is what runs this film. Even the daytime scenes of Stevie's child picking up driftwood in a perfectly safe area leaves you feeling unempty...and Stevie's extra long walk to her lighthouse radio staion is another throw away scene that just adds to the whole feel of this film.

This is a creepy, atmospheric ghost story starring adults....can you believe it....ADULTS (with the exception of the young Jamie Lee Curtis...but she's not a teenager in this either). Tom Atkins steals the show as he always does and Hal Holbrooke does a fine job as Father Malone...but Carpenter is the true star of this film...and I think I actually like this score to his Halloween score...it's that creepy.

If you haven't seen this film...see it. If you haven't seen this film, but have seen ads for the remake and figure that the original must suck as well...you're wrong...ther remake sucks...not this. This is a little piece of gold that might have slipped past you...and the only good thing to come of that remake is that Mr. Carpenter will get a nice check, and some people may find the original film again.

The Horror 100: 19 and 18

#19 Psycho
(1960, directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, and Vera Miles)

This is Alfred Hitchcock's only trip into my list...not because he's not a genius, but because he mainly did suspense films and not "horror." Though this film has a lot of mystery and suspense in it...it is a bona fide horror movie....and one of the best at that. The film was extraordinarily taboo for its time...what with extramarital sex, cross dressing, seeing women in various states of undress...though never really seeing anything...thats why Hitch is the master.

The film kicks off with a woman robbing her boss for a good chunk of money and setting out to free herself and run away with her boyfriend... She just has to make a pit stop at a motel...The Bates Motel...yeah, you've probably heard of it...or even seen it if you've ever been to Universal Studios. The film is clearly legendary...and it is legendary for a reason. This story is rock solid...the acting is very good (though it is still that stage acting style for the most part which I am not usually fond of)..and Hitch is at the top of his game...his use of camera angles, sound, and editing are masterful. You would think that the film wouldn't have its original intended effect on someone like me...but when I first saw it in junior high...I didn't feel like taking a shower...and I wasn't even a chick...though I guss it could be said that I probably didn't much care for showering prior to that at that age.

Bloch's story is masterful...Saul Bass' titles are genius...the score is legendary and completely off-putting and shizophrenic and this is just an all around good movie. Do yourself a favor and check in to the Bates Motel one more time...you'll be glad you did....

p.s. Shama-lama-ding-dong owes his whole career to this movie...trick endings you see





















#18 Halloween
(1978, directed by John Carpenter, starring Donald Pleasance, Jamie Lee Curtis, P.J. Soles, Nancy Loomis, and Charles Cyphers)

Ah, the original, the classic, the masterpiece, Carpenter's calling card. This film, despite the watering down of his original characters through countless shitty sequels, is as fresh today as it was in 1978. Boy, Carpenter was really on a roll back then...Assault on Precinct 13 into Halloween into The Fog into Escape From New York into The Thing...I mean that's a career right there...and not just a good career...an auteur's career...and to think he wasn't done with those. Anyway, Halloween (originally titled The Babysitter Murders) is a simplistic as it gets...man in mask stalks teens...I mean come on...basic...then why has this film been endlessly imitated, sequelized, and pontificated over....because the film was done to perfection.

This was independent cinema at its best...a small determined crew taking a simple story and finding greatness in it. The acting is top notch (that's right, slasher films can have top notch acting) with Carpenter's usual suspects, Charles Cyphers, Jamie Lee Curtis, P.J. Soles, Nancy Loomis, and Donald Pleasance. The dialogue, for the most, is very lively and even the pat dialogue is given life by this incredible stable of actors.

Now to what this film is really known for...that score...I don't think I know anyone who doesn't know that driving 5/4 score. It really gave this film life and a great pace and made you constantly on edge. The mask itself was scary for god's sake...the expressionless version of William Shatner is downright freaky and Dean Cundey's photography is beautiful. I don't usually dig on the blue gels to accentuate night...but Cundey is always doing it and I'm always loving it...maybe it's just it coupled with the anamorphic widescreen Carpenter insists upon...but whatever it is...it works.

I could give you a plot rundown...but why? You've all seen it...if you haven't...you know what the plot is, because you've seen it countless times....now see it how it was intended....this is formula done to perfection...and with a little flair.

The Horror 100: 21 and 20

whoo...films pre-1980...now we are back to normal for a list by me...




















#21 Phantasm
(1979, directed by Don Coscarelli, starring A. Michael Baldwin, Bill Thornbury, Reggie Bannister, and Angus Scrimm)

If this one doesn't scare you….you're already dead. At least that's what the tagline claimed and I have to say I concur. Phantasm is a very original and quirky horror film by maverick director, Don Coscarelli, a man who apparently became pigeonholed and has hardly done a film other than then the 4 Phantasm films (with the glaring exception of Bubba Ho-Tep).

Phantasm revolves around an adolescent boy who has recently lost his parents and his fear of losing his brother leads the overly inquisitive boy to witness strange things transpiring at the local mausoleum. These strange things involve someone known only as "The Tall Man" and his group of strange jawa like dwarves. I mean, the plot to this one is really out there, but for some reason, you never stop to question it…it's just a freak out session. This tall man and his band of merry men lead us in a very spooky environment and I find myself still feeling trepidacious when I watch the film. I know what is going to happen, but I still don't want it too…that's how creepy these weirdos are.

The Tall Man is played to perfection by Angus Scrimm and he is pursuing one of the genre's favorites, Reggie Bannister. The Tall Man has become a horror icon for a reason…he is truly freaky and before he became a caricature of himself…he was even more so. His one-liners (I believe he has something like five lines at best in the film) have become nothing short of genre classics…they are simply unforgettable. These one-liners usually coincide with extraordinarily freaky scares.

The film does have a lot of seventies in it (which in my opinion isn't a bad thing), but it still holds up today if you can get past the clothes and haircuts…and some of the dialogue…which any dope with a brain can do. Anyway this film is a cult film among cult films, and among cult film fans, it is "Citizen Kane."

In the immortal words of the Tall Man...."BOOOOOOYYYY!!!"

#20 Night of the Living Dead
(1968, directed by George A. Romero, starring Duane Jones and Judith O'Dea)

I feel awkward even writing a blurb about this film…that's how sacred a piece of cinema this is. This film really began a new era in horror cinema where the horror could be "real." This film is one of the first I remember seeing in which the acting didn't seem like it was stage acting…the actors didn't seem aware of the camera…it was a new era of filmmaking and Romero was one of the maverick directors ready to make his mark….He did.

The film, originally title "Night of the Flesh Eaters," follows a woman who narrowly escaped death at the hands of what Romero referred to at the time as a ghoul (but were later dubbed zombies), and precedes to hold up in a seemingly abandoned farmhouse. A man soon joins her…this man was played by Duane Jones and was the first lead actor in a horror film (at least is purported to be) who was African-American. Eventually there is a group of six people in this farmhouse surrounded by a ever growing hoard of zombies.

The acting in this film is top notch and it was shot in black and white. The film isn't overtly gory, but I don't recall seeing much cannibalism on screen prior to this film. It was made on a shoe-string budget, and like many films made for little money with a very creative talent directing…magic is made. Thus was the case with Night of the Living Dead. Think about it…everyone who knows anything at all about zombies and some who don't knows that they feast on the flesh of the living…the only way to kill them is to kill the brain or remove the head…and that, despite recent contradictions, they are slow moving….where do you think that comes from? Romero and this film…that's who.

It is a shame that the producers on this film copyrighted the name "Night of the Flesh Eaters" and not the title "Night of the Living Dead," thus making the film public domain. It wasn't until the late eighties that a copyright wasn't needed…this has cost Romero millions I'm sure…but it was that cavalier attitude that helped produce the masterpiece. They didn't know what they were making…they just made it because they wanted to…and if you put talented people together without an agenda, good things can happen. They certainly did here…this film will never be forgotten. I try to watch it once a year…now's as good a time as any.

6 ways to shut a pony up...

Well...here it is The 5-0 Ship Its vs. the 4-0-1 Pony Remarks....What's at stake? An undefeated regular season for The Ship Its.....how do you shut a pony up....The Green Machine D, that's how. They didn't know what they get themselves involved in....we left them bloodied and disoriented. We felt the need to give them a TD just to make the game closer at 20-14...then we tightened the noose and shut em down.

Now, again, you may think The Sisteen Chapel was a great accomplish...horse shit. How about the building of the pyramids....lick my nuts, Egyptians. Maybe the Red Sox epic 3-0 comeback in the 2004 ALCS...okay bad example...that was kick ass. Or even the human mastery of flight....how about the human mastery of who gives a shit??? that's what it equates to when you put it up against the Ship Its epic 2005 regular season....Next Up....the playoffs

The Horror 100: 23 and 22

2 top notch films today...one is even from my hated decade of the 90's





















#23 Candyman
(1990, directed by Bernard Rose, starring Virginia Madsen, Tony Todd, and Xander Berkeley)

Okay, another Clive Barker film…well, sort of. Barker wrote the short story, The Forbidden, that it's based on. The film is actually directed by Bernard Rose who went on to direct films like Immortal Beloved and Anna Karenina. Rose, in Candyman, directed the only film of his career with any impact…and does it ever have an impact.

This is a truly scary film and the first real urban fairy tale. It takes the same sorts of myth and legend that was always circulated in ancient times to help understand modern problems. The film was truly unique in its time and stands up today. From the opening credits with Phillip Glass' truly haunting and driving score, through the opening scene starring Ted Raimi which I openly claim truly terrified me and made me jump like a little girl, all the way to the end of the film…the film is flat out scary….and not only that, but a good film and not just a good horror film.

You care about these characters and everything they do is believable in unbelievable circumstances. The acting is top notch, but it really is the mythos and score that make this film what it is in my opinion. Give great actors great material and films like this get made.

True, this film spawned 2 forgettable sequels and this is considered just another horror movie, but watch it again with a more discerning eye and you will find something much more substantial.

#22 The Hills Have Eyes
(1977, directed by Clive Barker, starring Susan Lanier, Robert Houston, Martin Speer, Russ Grieve, and Dee-Wallace Stone)

Ah…the seventies…when independent film was truly independent and horror films were truly horrific. This film is gritty and nasty. Shot on super 16mm film giving it that typical early documentary feel, the film feels like being stuck in a nightmare.

Based on the true life exploits of the Sawney Beane family, consisting of Beane, his wife, and 14 children. They were a feral clan who picked off travelers in the Highlands of Scotland in the 1400's and feasted on them. The cannibals were eventually caught, ruled insane, and put to death.

The film follows a family going traveling across the desert in a mobile home, who blow out a tire and get caught in the middle of nowhere and are being stalked by a clan not unlike the Sawney Beane family. The film gets savage very quickly and the clan show no mercy and neither does Craven. I still get chills watching the invasion of the mobile home.

This was Craven's second film and in my opinion his second best…his early work clearly had the most soul and raw energy…as he became a more polished filmmaker, he seemed to lose a lot of his voice and energy. Don't get me wrong…I think Craven is one of the all time greats in our genre…and I think the MPAA and the society's moral climate was as responsible for the dumbing down of our beloved genre…but he clearly had more raw power as a filmmaker when he was still learning his craft..

So, this film is clearly not the polished film you would find being released by a studio today…and that is part of what makes it great…you couldn't make this film today. With that said…they are remaking this film, and it is being directed by one of my favorite young directors, Alexandre Aja…and I will probably enjoy it, as I love the story and enjoy the director………BUT, this film can not be made today and it will be just a watered down, polished caricature of itself. Check out the original before the remake overtakes theaters.

P.S. FUCK THE MPAA

The Horror 100: 25 and 24

The Clive Barker edition of the list...




















#25 Hellbound: Hellraiser 2
(1988, directed by Tony Randel, starring Ashley Laurence, Claire Higgins, Doug Bradley, Kenneth Cranham, and Sean Chapman)

This one will make your skin crawl. The cenobites are back and they are nastier than ever. The whole charm of the Hellraiser series is the elegance of its monsters, the cenobites…especially their leader "Lead Cenobite" as he was originally known…also known as Pinhead. These are beings that come to you by your desire…nothing else. Your curiosities lead YOU to them not the other way around.

In this sequel, we pick up where we left off, with Kirsty hospitalized and her father MIA. The director of the hospital Kirsty is in, Dr. Channard of the Channard institute, has been fortuitous as he has been searching and investigating "the box" for years and now the expert has arrived. He has been seasoning a young girl adept at puzzles to finally solve the puzzle box and when she does the cenobites arrive and instead of showing her a new set of pleasures, Pinhead states, "It is not hands that call us…it is desire." A great line and proof that the cenobites are simply our dark side.

This film has all that the original has except the intimacy that Barker excelled at. Many of the actors return, Claire Higgins as Julia, Sean Chapman as Frank, Ashley Laurence as Kirsty, and Doug Bradley as Pinhead. The acting was a strong point of the original and it continues in this film and may even be stronger. The film is certainly a lot gorier and the scene with Browning on Julia's mattress is downright gross and hurts to watch.

Despite losing the intimacy of the first film, which was essentially a haunted house film, the claustrophobia remains due to the labyrinthine tunnels our lead characters can't seem to escape. The allowance of the cenobites for the characters to roam hell makes everything seem even more trepidacious. It's seems your just waiting for the other shoe to drop and when Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer, and Female Cenobite track down Kirsty and make a second deal…Pinhead's quote of "but trick us again child and your suffering will be legendary…even in hell," says it all.

#24 Nightbreed
(1990, directed by Clive Barker, starring Craig Sheffer, Anne Bobby, and David Cronenberg)

Well I like the fact that there are 2 Clive Barker films back to back…and a Barker based film on the way…seeming as he's only directed 3 feature films (all of which made this list). Nightbreed was billed as the first Epic Horror mythology…a new world of monsters that would take over the world of horror. Well, that didn't happen, and the film didn't do the type of business everyone had hoped…I think part of that is 20th Century Fox's meddling. I understand that most people don't want a 126 minute horror film dealing with themes most don't want to deal with…but the 101 minute cut of this film, though great, is missing something. I would love to some day see the 126 minute cut (something Barker is purportedly working on), but I still love the film as it is.

The film is based on a man who is wanted for murder who keeps dreaming of a mystical place of Midian…where the monsters live. He eventually finds this dominion and is introduced to the creatures who inhabit it…the Nightbreed. All along this process, there is a murderer running loose. David Cronenberg plays our lead character, Boone's, psychologist, Dr. Decker, and puts in a terrific performance as well as everyone else, including those hiding behind prosthetics as the Nightbreed (including Pinhead's Doug Bradley as Dirk).

The mythology created by Barker in his novel, Cabal, is powerful and fantastic. It is a trip I very much enjoyed taking and one of my biggest disappointments in cinema is that this film never got a sequel. Most films aren't made with a sequel in mind…then a sequel comes…and it sucks. When a film is made with the intention of follow ups due to the enormity of its mythos, it is very disappointing when that film never comes….imagine never getting to see "The Godfather part II." That's kind of what this equates to in the world of horror in my opinion.

Anyway, if you've never seen this film…it is very much worth checking out…and if you ever hear of the director's cut finally getting a special edition DVD…make sure you check that out…I know I will.

The Horror 100: 28, 27, and 26

and tonight...3 for the price of 2...




















#28 Evild Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
(1987, directed by Sam Raimi, starring Bruce Campbell)

Well…if you haven't seen this movie you are officially even less cool than me…and that's saying something. It seems every hipster dufus has adopted this film series and this film in particular as their cool B flick nobody knows…well…EVERYBODY fucking knows now….anyway…though you've already seen this film probably innumerable times…and can probably quote the entire film…I will say a few words about it anyway.

Though it carries the number 2 in the title, this film is actually more of a remake of the original than a sequel. The original film was made on such a shoestring budget (as was this…but not AS shoestring) that Raimi took the opportunity to make the film he had originally envisioned. Though, I believe this film is actually inferior to its predecessor..though not by very much…and it a very different film. Where as the first film was a straight out horror flick…this is much more of a horror comedy.

Bruce Campbell is at his best in this film and he really finds the character of Ash here. He is a cool customer and was born to crack wise….this is where "The Chin" was born. The film centers on a couple who head up into the woods for a quiet weekend…then they play a tape recorded incantation of demons…and sure enough…they come. Essentially the first half of the film is Campbell acting on his own…not an easy task…but done to perfection.

This film is gory and hilarious and the epitome of cool. If you don't become a Campbell fanboy after watching it….you take yourself too seriously. In the immortal words of Ash…"Workshed!

#26 Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills
and #27 Paradise Lost 2: Revelations
(1996 and 2000, directed by Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky)

Okay…now these 2 films are probably my biggest stretch as far as a pure "horror" movie…but I know that I have never seen anything on screen that scared me more than the witch trials that took place in the bumpkin town of West Memphis, Arkansas. Filmmakers Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky spent 79 days over a 10 month period following all of the pertinent players.

The film is a documentary about the murder and sexual assault of three young boys and the subsequent rush to judgment and trial of three teenage boys: Jessie Miskelley, Jason Baldwin, and Damien Echols….these three have since been dubbed the West Memphis Three.

Now I am clearly biased on this matter and have already made up my mind…but the filmmakers, for the most part, were impartial and took a fairly unbiased snapshot of a horrifically fucked up situation that in the end gets back to the fact that three young boys were treated to a birds eye view of hell one afternoon. Though, in my opinion, what happened next was just as horrific. Jessie, Jason, and Damien were quickly rustled up and arrested for what primarily appears to be their choice of clothing, music, and reading materials.

There are also certain moments that give even the staunchest supporter pause, like Jessie's "confession." Though if you watch the movie you can see why even that can't be trusted.

The sequel follows the appeals process and re-visits some of the questions from the original film. I feel that both of these films are very important to watch as it is very possible, and in my opinion quite probable, that three young men are languishing in prison for a heinous unthinkable crime that they didn't commit. Please watch these films, make your own decisions, and get involved…and please visit www.wm3.org for more information on the case.

The Horror 100: 29 and 28

I guess I was on a big "A" kick...




















#29 Alien
(1979, directed by Ridley Scott, starring Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Harry Dean Stanton, Yaphet Kotto, John Hurt, and Ian Holm)

Alien is one of Ridley Scott's first non television films…and though I really do enjoy "The Duellists," it is his first classic. This film, despite all of the sci-fi decoration, is a haunted house film….it really is. It is a scary monster chasing people in a claustrophobic environment. The tagline reads…"in space…no one can hear you scream." Oh so true.

The film centers on a crew of futuristic blue collared workers returning home after a deep space mission. Their hibernation stasis is interrupted because the ship, The Nostromo, picks up a distress beacon coming from an unknown planet. After visiting the site of the problem, the crew returns to the ship…with an uninvited guest.

From their the movie is pretty much one big cat and mouse film, but damn do I remember it being scary the first time I saw it….and the film really holds up. It is not an all out alien invasion action film like its more known James Cameron helmed successor, Aliens. No, this is a much more intimate film concerning itself more with great acting and inter-character interaction. We learn to really like these characters in a very short period of time and care what happens to them…this is due in large part to the great actors involved such as Weaver, Skerrit, Stanton, Hurt, and Cartwright…but it is also do to Scott's masterful direction. Now, he has gotten the label over the years about caring more about his visuals than his actors…and I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with that…but I also don't think that is necessarily true…he certainly gets top notched performances out of the band of thespians.

The atmosphere created is masterful…the audience starts to feel claustrophobic like the crew and you start to believe that this creature could be around any corner. There are 2 or 3 scenes that have gone on to be cinema classics that virtually everybody has seen or heard about…I won't ruin them for you here, because if you haven't had them ruined for you yet…I won't be the one to do it…but if you haven't seen this classic…head on down to your local Blockcensor Video…defecate on the counter…then head on over to any other video store and rent this.

#28 Odishon (aka Audition)
(1998, directed by Takashi Miike, starring Ryo Ishibashi and Eihi Shiina)

Takashi Miike is pure and simply a genius. Now, there aren't many original films being made these days in this or any genre…mainly because everything has been done…then there is Miike. He is one of the few directors today I believe with new things to say…they maybe extremely fucked up things…but you haven't seen them before. He takes a typical plot and turns it on its head…then he kicks that head with an iron boot, crushing the orbital bone into the head's brain…then a midget runs in and grabs that brain takes it home and marries it in a strange ceremony headed by jack-in-the-boxes…

Well, that isn't this movie..but you get the point. Miike is to Japanese cinema as David Lynch is to American cinema…except much gorier. This film is one of his more audience friendly and definitely his best…I don't know if that is because of that or in spite of…but I hope the latter.

The film follows the story of a lonely middle-aged man looking to find love and a wife. His friend, a film and tv producer, has a wonderful idea….they will hold fake auditions to help him meet women. This trick works…but as we start to watch the girl he has chosen we start to realize, very slowly and deliberately, that maybe the trick worked too well.

The pacing in this film is perfect…you are lulled into the sense that you are watching a completely different movie than you signed up for…even if you know Miike's background….then BAM! About midway through the film…you recall why Miike intrigues you so much…this film gets flat out FUCKED UP and some of the scenes difficult to watch (now that is the Miike we know and love).

Even if this film sounds like not your cup of tea…give it a try and at least see that there are still original films being made…I didn't believe it either…and if you like Miike…then check out "Ichi the Killer" (talk about fucked up and gory).

The Horror 100: 32 and 31

sorry for the recent delays....




















#32 Zombi
(1979, directed by Lucio Fulci, starring Tisa Farrow and Ian McCulloch)

Lucio Fulci is one of Italy's greatest directors of all time and this film really solidifies his title as the "Godfather of Gore." This film is downright gross…and it has all of the gags that made Fulci famous…including his affinity for gross out eye nastiness. The film is an unauthorized sequel to George A. Romero's "Dawn of the Dead," which was released in Italy as Zombi….and this film was released in its native Italy as Zombi 2…though it really shares nothing with Romero's direct sequel to "Night of the Living Dead," "Dawn of the Dead" than its Italian release titles…confused yet…good. All I'm saying is that this movie stands on its own as it should.

The film starts in New York but quickly moves to a distant tropical island where a doctor has been doing experiments on the dead who seem to be returning to life on the island. All of the plot details don't mean a hill of beans to Fulci…they never do…he cares about the gore, the atmosphere, and the imagery…and this film has it in spades….and the acting is surprisingly strong. This film has the best zombie makeup I have ever seen and the poster "conquistador" zombie is perfect. The one thing Fulci has on Romero is Giannetto De Rossi, the makeup effects artist he used on this and many of his other films. Now, I love Tom Savini, but the realism and nastiness of Rossi's zombies beat Savini and Romero's…but I think that was a choice made by Romero….

Anyway…gross…grosser….and grossest…this film has it…and a kick ass score by Fabio Frizzi to boot.

#31 Se7en
(1995, directed by David Fincher, starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kevin Spacey)

Se7en is a film that was released and marketed as "not being a horror film." The last thing they wanted anyone to think is that this film is a horror movie. Oh god, please, don't let anyone find out this film is a horror movie. It's a detective thriller….it's a mystery…it's a drama….FUCK ALL THAT NOISE…this is a HORROR film…and now that they don't need to worry about marketing anymore..maybe they'll even admit it.

This film has top notch acting with Pitt, Freeman, and Spacey…even the usually wicked annoying Paltrow isn't too annoying. The film follows 2 detectives…one new to NYC and one only days away from retiring…as they deal with a madman on the loose in New York. He is on a murder spree using the Seven Deadly Sins created by Dante in his Divine Comedy trilogy…greed, lust, pride, sloth, envy, wrath, and gluttony. The killer forces his victims to be active parts of their demise due to their sin. The story is very smart…the cinematography is very dark and beautiful…and some of this stuff is purely gross. I'm sure you've all seen this one…well, watch it again.